I feel mean.

I feel really mean. I’ve been seeing a psychiatric nurse for the past couple of months. Originally it was every day for a month and then I got moved onto the longer term program. Where I see my care coordinator who is a psychiatric nurse once every two weeks. And it’s not that I don’t like the guy, he’s nice. But I just don’t feel that he is the right person for me to see. So on Friday when I saw my new psychiatrist I asked for someone different. But today I  had to see my psychiatric nurse for the last time. Thankfully he hasn’t yet found out that I’ve ditched him. But I feel really bad about it, can’t shake this mean feeling I have. And I know that I shouldn’t have to feel this way because it’s a professional relationship and that he is probably use to it and doesn’t take it to heart. But still I feel mean. He wanted to make another appointment for next week but I said I was moving house so probably wouldn’t have the time. I could have probably found the time but by then he will have found out that I’ve asked for someone else. And then I go on holiday for a month so made an appointment with him for when I get back. Knowing full well the appointment will be canceled when he finds out, but I wasn’t going to be the one to tell him that.

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