It doesn’t take long for chronic pain/illness to effect your relationships with others. Pain changes you and every aspect of your life. Friends seem to disappear because they don’t know how to handle you being sick they don’t know what to say or do to help you. When really all they have to do is genuinely be there for you. Nothing they can say or do can take the pain away, but they can help by just being there. However they don’t seem to get this so instead a lot of the time they just disappear. Which in turn makes you think that they don’t care, because that is how they are acting.
Over the years I have been in chronic pain I have lost many friends due to this, and it’s been quite upsetting. I’ve had one close friend tell me that I am pretending and another saying I have no right to be depressed because other people have it worse, which both infuriated me. My original group of friends ditched me shortly after it all started, I guess they were fed up with the girl in pain who was depressed. I was then on my own without any friends for over a year until I finally managed to make some new friends in my new year at school (I got moved down a year). These friends were a lot better they accepted me and we genuinely interested in what was going on with me and if I was okay. Two of my closest friends even visited me in hospital after I had attempted to kill myself. It was sometimes hard though because I just felt so different from them because I am in pain and they are ‘normal’. When I dropped out of school it became much harder, I no longer even had going to school in common with them. When I managed to go out with them on the weekends I felt so disconnected from them and would always leave early because I couldn’t stand how being around ‘normal’ healthy people made me feel. It made me feel even more alone and disconnected.
I then moved back to England mid April because of my health. Since then pretty much only two of my friends have been talking to me. I sent out a message to my friends explaining why I left; because I had only told a few people where I was going and why I wasn’t coming back. I got replies off a couple of the guys saying they hoped I was okay, which was nice and I appreciated it. But two people who I considered my closest friends didn’t even bother replying, which really upset and affected me.
Getting sick really shows you who your true friends are, turns out I only have like two.