So each year we go on a family holiday, which I’m meant to have a good time on; but I don’t. Last year was three weeks in Thailand, and it wasn’t too good, I spent the majority of time in bed in pain and not being bothered to do anything. My parents were a little annoyed to say the least. My parents own a house in Florida so this year we have come here, two weeks here then 5 days in the Caribbean then just over a week back in Florida. So far I have spent the majority of time in bed. I just can’t be bothered to do anything and don’t even have the desire to do anything. My depression has gone down hill again and I’m feeling very miserable, hence why I don’t want to do anything, that and the pain combined.
To be honest I just want to go home, not that I even know where home is now a days. But I will settle for going back to England where I’m not expected to go out and do stuff and have an excuse to do nothing. Compared to on holiday where my parents want to go out and do things. I think my parents are getting a bit annoyed with me, my mum came into my room today and said ‘I can’t believe you’re wasting your holiday in bed.’ So yeah I think they’re a bit annoyed.
But it’s not like I can help it. I can’t control the pain and I can’t control my depression. It’s not that I don’t appreciate them taking me on holiday, I do. But I just never have a good time, well not in the past few years anyway.