One of the ways I know that I’m starting to get bad again (even more depressed) is that I start to isolate myself. And I know it’s not good but I can’t help it.
I’ve started to isolate myself again. I haven’t spoken to anyone other than my family and one close friend who has chronic illness in a week. I just don’t feel like speaking to anyone really. I just feel like being alone. This doesn’t help the lonely feeling that comes with chronic pain/illness.
All my friends are moving on with their lives, they’re going off to uni soon, will be making new friends etc. And I just feel stuck, like I’m in limbo. So yes I’m a bit jealous they get to do all that, whereas I’ve had that taken away from me. I want so badly to be normal, to not have health issues that stop me from doing the things I want to do. So at the minute I just don’t feel like talking to anyone.
I can feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into my depression every day now. And part of me just wants to let it happen. Part of me wants help, and I’ve been trying to get help. I have an appointment on Thursday with a new psychologist. Hopefully that will be okay and will help me.