So I got back to England on Tuesday, it’s actually quite nice to be back, which is weird. Been to Tae Kwon-do a couple of times which was good. And today I went to my group therapy course type thing, which was okay, I missed last weeks cause I was away but I didn’t really miss much. I never have to courage to speak when I’m there so I kind of just sit there quietly listening to what the people running it and other people there have to say. Maybe one day I will have the courage to actually say something in a session.
Also spoke to my new care coordinator/psychiatric nurse. It’s a woman this time, and she sounds quite nice, so hopefully she is and this time I will be able to talk to her, because the previous two guys I had were rubbish and I didn’t feel able to talk to them. So hopefully it will be different this time.
I have a doctors appointment with my GP on Tuesday, going to ask/beg her to give me something for the pain because my neuro won’t and I’m desperate for some relief. Plus if there is nothing more my neuro can do for me but wait for surgery which is at least a 2 year wait, well honestly I don’t think I will survive the wait i I don’t get something for the pain. I just hope she understands and gives me something, I suppose if she won’t then I will have to go to a pain management specialist, and hope they understand and give me something for the pain. Quite nervous about my appointment with her to be honest, scared she won’t give me anything.
Didn’t see my psychologist this week as she couldn’t make my appointment, so seeing her next Thursday. Have quite a bit of homework to do for her still. She sent me some mindfullness and deep breathing recordings which I haven’t listened to yet so I need to do that.
As for how I’m feeling, I’m feeling pretty rubbish to be honest. The pain has been awful which has a huge impact on my mood. But generally I feel miserable all the time, just even more miserable when the pain is really bad. I’m trying to hang in there but it’s hard when everything seems so bleak.