So I’m in Dubai for New Year. Was hoping to see all my friends tomorrow night for a party for New Year. But no one was willing to have people over their house. So they have all decided they are going to have a party in the desert instead. Which means I won’t be able to go. I can’t be stuck in the desert with no way to get home if I need to which would probably end up being the case. I could take my car and drive there and back but I can’t risk getting my car stuck in the desert and not having anyone there to tow me out. All my friends are big drinkers they want to go out and get absolutely smashed and party into the wee small hours. Me? I’m happy not drinking at all, staying for 2 hours or so just to see people and then go home. Which I know is weird, but when I use to go out with all my friends back when I still lived in Dubai I felt really disconnected from them all. They’re all normal and want to do normal teenagery things like go out and get drunk. I’m not really into all that, maybe I would be if I wasn’t sick but the way I am now I just can’t do it, I don’t enjoy drinking and like to be tucked up in bed by 10/11pm sleeping, the only break I get from the pain. Though it’s safe to say I’m a little disappointed I was looking forward to seeing everyone that I haven’t seen since April, if it was at someones house instead I would have happily gone along for a bit but I don’t feel comfortable going into the desert and having to stay all night with no way of getting home when I want to.
But to be honest I hate New Years anyway, it’s such a pointless holiday and I really don’t enjoy it at all. Last year I forced myself to stay till 12 to see the new year in which was hard because it got to 10pm and I couldn’t stand how disconnected I was feeling so I then left. So maybe it’s better that I’m not going out , at least then I can avoid the horrible disconnected feeling I always get. My sister is going to a party but my parents aren’t so I think I will just go out for a meal with them, then come home and sleep through the new year.
On another note tomorrow it’s going to be 2 weeks till my headaches 4 year anniversary, safe to say I’m not feeling so great about it.