What is wrong with me?!

I don’t know what is wrong with me, I find it so hard to socialise with people my own age.

I’m in Dubai and some of my friends are here for spring/Easter break from uni, so tonight I went round a guys house who was one of my closest friends when I lived here, with a bunch of other friends that are here too. So we just sat in his garden drinking, firstly I’m not a big drinker, I just don’t really like the stuff so I tend not to drink, but I had a couple tonight anyway, no where near drunk or even tipsy come to that. I went round at half 7 and it’s now half 11, got home about half an hour ago. So I stayed about 3 hours which is quite good for me.

But I just find it so hard to socialise with people my own age, like I don’t know what to say, we don’t have much in common anymore as they all go to uni and go out partying all the time and I’m really not into that. Like I literally sit there feeling like an outcast not knowing what to say and definitely not having a good time, so after a while I just leave. They all think the reason I leave early is because of the pain, but really the pain hasn’t been an issue tonight I just feel so disconnected when I’m with them that I really don’t enjoy it.

I find I get on better with adults than I do people my own age. We have close family friends in England, that we see a lot, and I’m staying with for 2 weeks in May when my Mum is in Dubai cause of my sisters AS level exams. But I find I get on a lot better with them and other adults than people of my own age group. Maybe I’m old before my time, I really don’t know.

This happens every time I go out and it just leaves me feeling so rubbish.


2 thoughts on “What is wrong with me?!

  1. My childhood was filled with abuse. To a certain extent, I had to mature and grow up faster than my peers. As I’ve gotten older, it’s gotten easier, though there are still people my age that I have no clue how to relate to. I was made to feel like such an outsider in my own home as a child, and was the scapegoat for everything that went wrong in our house. That probably has quite a bit to do with me feeling very disconnected from a vast majority of the human population. Sometimes I feel like I’m living my life backwards. I’m finally with someone who loves me, and makes me believe that he loves me, and I have tangible evidence of his love. So now I tend to behave more like a little girl, having as much fun and laughing at as many things as I can. Perhaps for you, because you live with so much pain, you’ve also had to mature faster than your friends, and frivolous activities like drinking and partying have no appeal to you. As someone who lives with some level of headache pain 90% of the time, I can empathize. I can’t know how it feels, because it’s not my body experiencing what you’re going through. I wish there was something more I could offer you.

    • Sorry to hear you have trouble relating to people too. I think the fact I live with so much pain all the time is the main reason I have such a hard time, I find it much easier to get on with adults (technically I’m an adult as well but people older than me) most of my friends are a year younger than me as well.

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