Too much pain, I can’t deal.

Right now I’m in so much pain, I feel like there are knives in my head and my brain is being crushed, the pain is so sharp and severe that I can hardly move. And there is nothing I or anyone else can do about it, so I just have to lay in bed in pain and feeling so miserable. In this moment right now I feel like dying, I just want to stop the pain, I’m not going to do anything but that’s just how I feel. Right now I just don’t understand why this happened and my acceptance has gone out the window because the pain is so severe and is clouding my outlook on everything. 

I don’t really have anyone to talk to at the minute about this sort of stuff, I only see my psychologist every other week now and this week she’s away on holiday so I don’t want to disturb her with an email. My mum’s in Dubai and the people I’m staying with don’t really get it. I’ve emailed my school counsellor in Dubai though. I feel quite alone. 

I’m really struggling, with the pain, with everything and I don’t know what to do because nothing makes the pain any better. When the pain gets bad I start to worry more, at the minute mainly about going to college next year and how I will cope with the pain.

What I really need is some good news, maybe that would make things a bit better, preferably from the DVLA giving me a provisional drivers licence, hopefully (fingers crossed) will hear good news next week,, if not I don’t know how I will cope.

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6 thoughts on “Too much pain, I can’t deal.

  1. I really really hope you’re okay! Suggestion for you (feel free to reject if you want!) is that if you need to talk to someone, maybe you could try calling the Samaritans? Not like talking to someone you know, of course, but it might help. How’re you feeling today? xx

    • Thanks, I’ve rang the Samaritans several times before when I’ve been really bad and I found it really unhelpful. But I’m feeling a lot better today, the pain has gone down a bit, it’s still too early to say if it’s going to be a bad day as well as I’ve just woke up but hopefully it will stay at this level which I can deal with.xx

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