Right now I’m in so much pain, I feel like there are knives in my head and my brain is being crushed, the pain is so sharp and severe that I can hardly move. And there is nothing I or anyone else can do about it, so I just have to lay in bed in pain and feeling so miserable. In this moment right now I feel like dying, I just want to stop the pain, I’m not going to do anything but that’s just how I feel. Right now I just don’t understand why this happened and my acceptance has gone out the window because the pain is so severe and is clouding my outlook on everything.
I don’t really have anyone to talk to at the minute about this sort of stuff, I only see my psychologist every other week now and this week she’s away on holiday so I don’t want to disturb her with an email. My mum’s in Dubai and the people I’m staying with don’t really get it. I’ve emailed my school counsellor in Dubai though. I feel quite alone.
I’m really struggling, with the pain, with everything and I don’t know what to do because nothing makes the pain any better. When the pain gets bad I start to worry more, at the minute mainly about going to college next year and how I will cope with the pain.
What I really need is some good news, maybe that would make things a bit better, preferably from the DVLA giving me a provisional drivers licence, hopefully (fingers crossed) will hear good news next week,, if not I don’t know how I will cope.