I will never understand.

One thing I will never understand is how people can just cut you out of their lives like you meant nothing to them in the first place, like you never even existed.

I’ve lost so many friends over the years and the only reason for most of this is that I’m sick. I never got a reason why they all ditched me but most of it happened shortly after I got sick, so the only reason I can put it down to was that they were just fed up of the sick and depressed girl and couldn’t be bothered to be there for her. Which just made me more depressed that I had no friends.

Eventually (after over a year) I made some new friends, these were much better they stuck by me, mostly. I had a best friend who also suffered from depression, for different reasons to me though. And I had two other really close friends who were a couple. The rest of my new group of friends were good also I don’t speak to any of them online because we never spoke online before but I saw and spoke to them a lot at nights out and stuff and now I see them occasionally in Dubai if we are there at the same time.

My best friend (now former best friend) ditched me in November, we kept in touch online speaking a lot and then eventually she stopped talking to me, I tried to talk to her but every time I did she would stop replying mid way through a conversation and I got fed up with it so eventually stopped talking to her. We haven’t spoken since.

All my England friends ditched me a long time ago as well.

I don’t have many friends anymore, I have a best friend who was my other closest friend in Dubai we talk a lot. The rest of my friends consist of people from Taekwondo but we only socialise within taekwondo mainly apart from meals out occasionally. The rest are family friends that are really my parents friends but i get on well with too, Staying with some at the minute who I’m really close with and get on well with. And I have one other friend who I see every couple of weeks who use to be my next door neighbor when we were younger. My social life consists of going to Taekwondo nearly every evening as I have nothing else to do because I don’t really have any friends to do anything with.

I just don’t get how one day you can just decide to cut someone out of your life for practically no real reason and it’s like they never even existed, I would never do that to someone, I just don’t understand it. I see all these people who ditched me on Facebook, my ex best friend and I secretly hope that one day maybe they would talk to me, it’s highly unlikely but I just always wonder.

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4 thoughts on “I will never understand.

  1. At your age, people come and go in and out of your life. Don’t take it personally. It would happen even without your health issues. I have never forgotten and share it with my kids now, what my teacher in high school told us one day, “look around you, you will not see these people again after you leave here.” So true. You will make different friends during different phases of your life. Look forward to it! College will be so different than high school!!!!

  2. I am all too familiar with this situation. I’m sorry this happened to you, it sucks. It’s baffling to think that people will stop talking to you because you’re sick, it seems unfair and it is. I can promise that you will meet people who will not run in the face of your headaches. Like Debra said college will be different than high school, the people will be very different and understanding.
    Em

    • Thanks, I’m not going to college as in university, it’s kind of different from high school though, there is sixth form at the college which is like the last two years of high school and then there is an adult education section and that is what I will be doing. But it should be better than high school anyway, the schedule is a lot less than high school and more like university lectures.

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