Today I made a good and healthy decision. I recently accepted a bar job on a Sunday of 2 hours or 5 hours a week depending on the day, I started last week and it went well. I also recently accepted a position at a large supermarket near me that have expanded, the job was 9 hours a week and I thought I could handle it. But I went to induction day yesterday and after I got home last night and after having some time to reflect on the really intense training schedule they had for my position, I was incredibly stressed about it and started crying. Which is a rare occasion because I hardly ever cry, so when I do there is something seriously wrong. I was concerned that I wouldn’t have any time to do any college work or have any free time whatsoever and that my pain levels would suffer for it making college even harder. I felt like I had taken on too much and was going to crash and burn health wise because of it and I can’t risk that when I have got to a good place finally. I was pretty convinced that I really didn’t want to take on the job but I thought I would sleep on it and see how I felt in the morning when I got up to go to the second induction day. I woke up this morning feeling the same, so I spoke to my mum about it and decided to not take the job. I went there this morning just to tell the head personnel woman that I wouldn’t be able to take on the job, I was nervous and thought she would be really pissed off at me, but she wasn’t she was understanding of why I didn’t feel like I could do it.
Afterwards I felt so much better, felt like a load of stress had just been lifted off my shoulders. I made the right decision and I’m happy with the one I made. I’m still keeping the bar job and I worked a 12-5 shift today which went really well, and then I came home and finished my college work for the week. I have Monday’s off of college and because I have got all my work done for next week I’m free to do what I want, which will consist of having a driving lesson and some well earned free time before I start have college for the rest of the week.
I made the best and healthiest decision for myself today and I am quite proud of myself for admitting to myself that I have limitations and can’t do everything.