There is no happy ending.

Maybe there is no happy ending for me, I will most probably be in pain for the rest of my life. There is no hope with NDPH for me, no more treatments, nothing anyone can do to ease my pain.

I was 15 when my headache struck out of almost no where, it is an unwanted guest, like the annoying relative that just won’t leave your house, to put it mildly. Over half of my teenage years have been taken away because of the pain, I’m still young, though I feel old, but I should be out there with friends doing normal things like drinking and partying and having fun. Instead I’m 20 years old and I spend the majority of my time in bed, other than 2 half days at college a week which is really all I can manage, and probably even then is still a bit too much. I don’t enjoy life because all I experience is pain and misery, and happiness is hard to come by.

I don’t see a happy ending for me, because I don’t envision that I will ever not be in pain. NDPH is almost a life sentence of pain, it’s a cruel diagnosis like so many others. People don’t get it, they don’t get how having a constant headache can destroy your life, and take away all hope and happiness. They just see it as a headache, as a headache is something relatively normal, that everyone gets from time to time and they struggle to fathom how a headache can be 24/7 for years on end. But it’s so much more than just a headache, it’s constant never ending severe pain in the place where you think so you can’t not think about it, it wears you down and destroys you and everything you once knew. It leaves you with such a feeling of hopelessness and helplessness and you can’t escape it because you are always in pain.

There is no happy ending, just pain.

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