Severe pain, as per usual.

I’m at a 9/10 on the pain scale, all I can do is lie here in agony feeling like there are a hundred knives stabbed into my head and my head is about to implode/explode (I’m never really sure which). It hurts so much I just want to die/cry. There is nothing I can do to ease the pain, no meds to take, no alternative treatments to help, literally nothing. I just have to suffer through it which is pretty much the story of my life and it makes me so angry and miserable. All I want is something to ease my pain, is that too much to ask for? Obviously the answer is yes. I’m so done with this pain, it hurts so much, I can’t cope and it’s too much to endure, no one should have to experience this much pain in their life, so why should I?! No one lets a dog suffer this much for years on end, so why should a human?!

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8 thoughts on “Severe pain, as per usual.

  1. Sending lots of good vibes and hoping you feel better soon! You’re a headache heroine and so unbelievably strong. Please don’t forget that! <3<3<3<3<3 I'm always here to talk, you know that.

  2. I hear you. I fight the same demons. Have you tried Topomax and Gabapentin? They helped me. Tney have side affects. I cant take the Gabapentin regularly but I can take it and it does create relief even though the doctors say it has to build up it my system. Chronic daily headache suck every bit of energy right out of you. Is that what you have too?

    • Tried both Topamax and Gabapentin, neither helped, I’ve tried everything now, nothing has worked or even helped a little. Glad it helps you at least. I have New Daily Persistent Headache which is slightly different to CDH, NDPH is where you got a severe headache on a day you can recall and it never went away and is with you 24/7. Mine is pretty severe and my neurologist calls it migraine variant as my pain levels are incredibly high most of the time, but I’m never not in pain, don’t know what not having a headache feels like anymore. My headaches 5 year anniversary is on Jan 14th :/

  3. Oh my dear, no…it is not too much to ask. But sometimes things just don’t happen. damn it.
    I too do not know what it is like to live without a headache. but most of my days are low on the pain scale. I used to have them much higher, but not as much any more. I’ve had a headache every day for 40 years. wow, I hadn’t even realized that. of course I don’t feel like I’m that old. LOL. mine started when I was 11. shortly after I started getting migraines. I had a migraine that didn’t go away. It got better, but never went away. Now that pain is always there. most days it is only on about a 3 scale though. thank goodness. I’m so sorry that you have them so high!
    By any chance is there a place you can go to try Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction? It won’t take away your pain, but it often makes it easier to deal with. I use it to help deal with my pain and vertigo. It has helped me so much. As I said, it doesn’t take the pain away, but it helps me deal with it…and it makes it feel less because of that.

    I know you are in the UK…so this is out there, but can you try medical marijuana? It used to help me some. right now I use it to control the vomiting when I have vertigo. It is amazing for that.

    I do understand how you feel.
    quality of life is horrible when you are in pain….or sick all the time.
    having vertigo as often as I do has made me question the validity of why I am here. But we cannot predict the future. no mater what the doctors say, we do not know what the future holds. We only know that everything changes. Life changes constantly.
    it changed the day you got that headache, it can change in an instant.
    do not lose hope.
    there is always hope.

    • I do mindfulness but at the minute it’s very hard to get back into it and not focus on the pain whilst I’m doing the meditations.
      Marijuana is illegal in the UK, and you can’t even get it for medical purposes. However I have tried it, it did help the pain but it also made me have a seizure for about 10 minutes, seemed to make my POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) worse because I use to have them sort of seizures before my POTS was treated and under control. So because of that I haven’t tried it since.
      x

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