I’d say Happy New Year, but I don’t really feel happy about it.

New Years Eve, in bed by 10. There isn’t much to celebrate to be honest, all I have to look forward to is another year of pain. I see all these posts on Facebook, ‘friends’ who aren’t really friends just people I know, about what a great night they had, what a great year they had and how they are looking forward to 2015. It makes me angry at the world, with what I’ve been given; a life sentence of pain and the misery it brings.

I’ve had a horrible year filled with pain and misery and that’s all I have to look forward to in 2015. For me 2015 just marks 5 years of indescribable pain, so what is there to celebrate, what is there to be happy about? My future is bleak, all it’s going to consist of is pain and misery and I can’t handle it anymore.

I feel so desperately miserable and depressed, no one can fix me, no one can help me. I can’t be saved, I’m beyond saving.

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7 thoughts on “I’d say Happy New Year, but I don’t really feel happy about it.

  1. I feel the same way most days. Four and a half years for me. I know the day. September 23, 2010. My thoughts are with you Sian. I know there is nothing I can say. Other than that. ❀

  2. 11 years with constant 24/7 migraine pain in April for me. December was also was 10 years with Tinnitus. I feel and have felt exactly the same way every new year since 2002.

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