Every time I admit I’m doing well something happens and I end up going back downhill. Still in this flare up and it’s awful, I feel awful, I feel miserable, depressed, angry, stressed and anxious. Yes I m well aware that’s a lot of negative emotions to be feeling. I don’t know what to do and I have no one to talk to. I am unable to do any college work, my end of year graded exam for psychology is in less than a months time now, I have so much revision to do but I can’t do any of it because of the pain, so I can’t see myself passing the exam. I have my final graded law assignment due in 2 weeks, I am yet to start it because of the pain and I am feeling stressed about it. I feel like giving up with it all at the minute.
I don’t know what to do, the problem is the pain and that can’t be fixed or helped, who knows how long I will be in flare up, the last one lasted a month. I don’t know how to do everything I need to do when I’m in so much pain. I can’t even keep up with my pain management techniques, I don’t know how to do it all.
At the minute I just feel like crying, I have spent the day on the sofa watching tv with my dog, that’s exactly what I did yesterday as well, oh and the day before also. My depression is creeping back in and I have no one to talk to about it all and I just don’t know what to do.