So I am a little bit behind on the MHAM blogging challenge for several reasons which I will post about what I have been up to shortly. So I am going to combine the past 5 days into one post.
Day 5 – symbol of hope
I wouldn’t really say I have a symbol of hope, however there is one object I have which gives me hope, but it is going to sound really silly. Years ago in a session with my school counsellor, quite near the beginning of when I started seeing her, at a time where I found it immensely hard to talk about my feelings about my pain. She picked up a stone out of her bowl of decorative stones surrounding a candle, and she gave it to me and told me that the stone was like a symbol of how hard it was for me to talk about everything. I still have that stone today, it is currently sat on my dressing table, and often I pick it up and it grounds me and makes me think back to how far I have come since she gave me that stone 5 years ago. It gives me hope that I can continue to improve and get to a better place, it reminds me that she believes in me and is there for me and has faith in me that I can get to a better place. I don’t know if she even remembers giving me that stone, or knows that I still have it and what it means to me, but often I find myself holding that stone and having a long hard think about where I am going and what I am feeling and my hopes for the future.
Day 6 – song that gives me hope
I wouldn’t say I really have a song that gives me hope I listen to a lot of Taylor Swift, Blink-182 and Bring Me The Horizon, which I know is a really odd combination! However I have heard one recently which is pretty good called Fight song by Rachel Platten. I think it has a really nice message that we can get through this.
Day 7 – hobbies that build hope
My main hobby is Tae Kwon-Do, I have been doing it since I was 8 and have now been a black belt nearly 8 years. It is the one thing I have refused to let my illness take away it is also the most beneficial thing for my pain. I do a lot of teaching as well in my club. When I am training or teaching the pain isn’t the first thing on my mind, I am so distracted by what I am doing or teaching that it doesn’t even matter that I am in pain. That truly is the best relief I get. The dojang (training hall) is the one place I feel truly happy. I have lots of hopes for my future within Tae Kwon-Do and I will talk about that a bit more in my next post of what I have been up to that has meant this MHAM has been a bit delayed.
Day 8 – pets for comfort and hope
I have a 3 year old yellow labrador called Bailey, she is literally the light of my life. We got her a couple of years after losing our first dog called Raven who was a black labrador and died of cancer. We were living in Dubai at the time, and when we first started looking for a new dog we were hoping to get something a bit smaller than a labrador, like a cocker spaniel. But my mum rang round the vets looking for any puppies and was told about someone who had one puppy left. Turns out it was a litter of labrador puppies, the last one that was left was the biggest girl. It must have been fate for us to find her because we weren’t looking for another labrador however once meeting her it was clearly meant to be. We picked her up on boxing day 2011. In 2013 we brought Bailey back to England, she loves it here, we live in a beautiful part of the south in the new forest and really close to the beach, so Bailey gets lots of lovely walks. Whenever I feel bad Bailey can always cheer me up with a cuddle and a kiss, she loves cuddles on the sofa. She is a bit of a mummy’s girl however when mum goes to Dubai to visit my dad and sister, she attaches herself to me and I get so much love and attention from her and we spend lots of quality time together cuddling and going on walks in the forest. Dogs are the best companions, especially when you are feeling down in the dumps, Bailey can always cheer me up.
Day 9 – lyrics from Win by Brian McKnight that speak to me
Dark is the night
I can weather the storm
Never say die
I’ve been down this road before
This is the opening lyrics to the song and the ones out of the song that speak to me the most. I guess it just reminds me that no matter how bad it has got in the past and there have been some really bad times, but I have always got through it no matter what happened. And when my depression reoccurs which has been happening a lot over the past year, a lot of periods of feeling better then crashing back down into old habits of depression. But somehow I have always managed to pick myself up from it all and hold onto the hope of feeling better despite pain, which I know is possible and I hope to get to a consistent place of feeling better and not always relapsing into depression.
The Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is organized by the American Headache and Migraine Association.