Been having a tough time recently with everything – writing has kind of taken a back burner in my misery. It’s hard at home at the minute as well because I have such conflicting emotions. My sister got her A level exam results on Thursday where she got 3 A*s and got into her top university, and I am so proud of her and happy for her, but at the same time it brings up so many negative emotions in me about my life and how I feel. I’ve been trying to keep it all in and not let anyone see how bad I am feeling because I don’t want to be accused of everything always being about me however my psychologist says I need to let it all out and let myself feel what i am feeling. Which is hard when you don’t want to rain on someones parade of amazing exam results with a bright future ahead of her. But I don’t have any of that, I don’t have a bright future because I am sick and that’s not going to change. Every dream I have ever had has been ripped away by my illness, it’s unlikely I will ever be able to support myself and be fully independent. I have no life, no education, no friends, no prospects of getting anywhere. So what even is the point?!