I have a tendency to head towards the darkness, to see the negative side of everything. I get to a good place and the slightest little thing will send me spiraling down into the darkness again, and once I have started heading that way I have difficulty trying to escape. I don’t know why I am this way but sometimes the darkness is easier, sometimes it’s comfortable, sometimes it’s just easier to hide here than to put myself out there where I feel that I will only get knocked back down again anyway.
I want so badly to be strong, to conquer the darkness for good, to be a success story, an inspiration, someone who can be looked up to. But at the minute I’m not that person, I see myself as weak, as a failure, I let depression get the best of me and I don’t know how to stop this from happening, to stop the darkness from taking over, again and again. I struggle to write a blog post now because I feel like I have let everyone down because I let the darkness get the best of me.