So my posts are far from frequent and I apologise but sometimes I feel like I have said everything there is to say about having a constant headache and how it has continually destroyed my life over the past 7 years. There is no feeling I have not covered in my posts and sometimes I feel like it would just do more damage than good to myself by hashing them same feelings out over and over again. That being said I did want to update everyone that reads and finds my blog about what is going to be happening in two months time.
On the 29th of September I will finally be undergoing Occipital Nerve Stimulation surgery (ONS). I’ve waited a long time for this surgery; over 3 and a half years to be exact. I’ve fought hard to get this surgery done and I’ve been through a lot of psych appointments to make sure that I am ready. Last week they finally gave me a date and I am thrilled to have one all be it very nervous now that it has suddenly become so real and soon.
My mind wonders to what happens after with each outcome of surgery. It’s only a 50/50 shot at helping and it’s not a cure. So I guess it’s only natural to worry about the outcomes. What happens if it helps? What would I do with my life if it worked to a degree that I could manage to be able to work or study, what do I want to do with my life? But, what if it doesn’t work? Will I be left in pieces or will I finally be able to fully accept my condition now that I have tried everything? Would I be able to move on emotionally from the pain that holds me down?
So as you can see everything in very uncertain, what is certain though is despite being nervous and scared and worried I will be having surgery on the 29th September. I hope for the best outcome possible.
I will let you know how I get on.
Wishing you a low pain day.
Sian AKA the never ending headache