7 years – each year doesn’t get easier.

Today marks 7 years of my never ending headache, who knew a headache could last more than a 7 days let alone 7 years. I’ve had a difficult year and today is a difficult day, this day reminds me of everything I feel was taken from me on the 14th January 2010, my education, my friends, my social life and my future. This day makes me wonder what my life could have been like if I had never got a headache 7 years ago.

Every year I write a post like this and every year the same thoughts and feelings come  bubbling to the surface. Every year I feel angry for this card I’ve been dealt and every year I feel the same sense of dread for the year to come.

I wish I could be fixed, I wish miracles existed, I wish I could go back in time and change my fate of pain.

It’s been 7 years and I still struggle to cope, I struggle to get out of bed and get through the day, I struggle with trying to figure out my place in this world and find where I belong.

I feel incredibly lost at the moment as you may already know, I feel like my future is out of control because all it consists of is me in pain struggling to make it through each day. I feel like there is no bigger picture, it’s just me in pain doing not a lot and I don’t want that but I can’t figure a way out. It’s like I’m trapped in the cage of pain and I don’t have the key to get out.

So I guess it’s (un)happy 7 year anniversary headache – haven’t you tortured me enough already ?!

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5 thoughts on “7 years – each year doesn’t get easier.

  1. Hi, my name is Taylon and I’m 19 and have been dealing with a never ending headache since I was 16. It started February 4th, 2014 due to excessive anger over a girl I cared a lot about seeing a guy who did her very wrong the year before. And, as well as you, it has caused a detrimental amount of my social and mental capabilities to disappear, in which I used to be the most outgoing person imaginable and very sharp minded, and now I struggle to get even a sentence out without stuttering or completely forgetting what I was going to say mid sentence. The fact that those two things were taken away from me is absolutely the MOST depressing thing about it all and when I try so hard to be able to be that person again and fail miserably drives me to the point of literally wanting to commit suicide. Now, after saying all of this, I’m extremely astonished that you have made it 7 years with your issue, you have no idea how hard that hit me because when I began read your comment, I bursted into tears not only because it has lasted that long for you, but because I’m am utterly mortified at the idea that I may suffer the same, and mind you like I said, I’ve only dealt with it half the amount of time you have and I had had enough of it and was beginning to become suicidal after just 6 months. You haven’t a clue how bad I feel for you, the very idea that you’ve suffered for so long kills me on behalf of how difficult three years has been for me. Do you mind telling me how yours started? Was it just out of complete randomness or was there an event that possibly may have caused it?

    • I’m just so horrified about the possibility of having this even a year longer, is there any way you have found that helps even a little?

      • unfortunately so far nothing has helped and I have now tried every treatment available. That being said that doesn’t mean nothing will help you because everyone reacts differently to treatments, what works for one may not work for someone else.

    • Hi Taylon, mine started just before I was 16 so I was the same age as you.I get how difficult it is to cope with and I’m really sorry to hear you are suffering from it too.I too use to be quite outgoing and smart minded and now I’m socially anxious and unable to concentrate or memorise anything I learn. I get the depression and I get the wanting to commit suicide as I did try and nearly died from a overdose back in 2012. Mine started on the 14th January 2010 the two days previous I had had a headache but on each day it had gone away with sleep then on the 14th when I was sat at school at 1:30pm it came even worse than the two days previous and it never went away. It was completely random other from the fact I had blocked sinuses when it started. NDPH is poorly understood and not well known and is the hardest headache condition to treat. Over the first year I bounced around neurologists without a diagnosis and then finally got one in 2011 when I came back to England from Dubai to see some doctors. I then tried every possible treatment available over the next few years, you name it I’ve tried it. And then we ran out and I had to wait for occipital nerve stimulation surgery as a last resort. And unfortunately so far its made it worse, but I’ve had a very abnormal reaction to the surgery. There is still a chance it could help, but my Neuro wants to see me in a couple of weeks to see whats going on. If you want to read more about how it started click on the my story page and it explains in a lot more detail. Feel free to email me if you want to chat its iamtheneverendingheadache@gmail.com
      I’m sorry you’re suffering.

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