Today marks 7 years of my never ending headache, who knew a headache could last more than a 7 days let alone 7 years. I’ve had a difficult year and today is a difficult day, this day reminds me of everything I feel was taken from me on the 14th January 2010, my education, my friends, my social life and my future. This day makes me wonder what my life could have been like if I had never got a headache 7 years ago.
Every year I write a post like this and every year the same thoughts and feelings come bubbling to the surface. Every year I feel angry for this card I’ve been dealt and every year I feel the same sense of dread for the year to come.
I wish I could be fixed, I wish miracles existed, I wish I could go back in time and change my fate of pain.
It’s been 7 years and I still struggle to cope, I struggle to get out of bed and get through the day, I struggle with trying to figure out my place in this world and find where I belong.
I feel incredibly lost at the moment as you may already know, I feel like my future is out of control because all it consists of is me in pain struggling to make it through each day. I feel like there is no bigger picture, it’s just me in pain doing not a lot and I don’t want that but I can’t figure a way out. It’s like I’m trapped in the cage of pain and I don’t have the key to get out.
So I guess it’s (un)happy 7 year anniversary headache – haven’t you tortured me enough already ?!