Lost stone and poor memory.

It probably sounds really stupid but my most sentimental item is a stone my high school counsellor gave me years ago. In reality it’s nothing special it’s just a stone that was in like a decorative bowl of stones on her table in her office. But it means a lot to me and to me it sort of represents my journey and how much my old counsellor now turned close friend means to me. I know for a fact that I probably would not be alive today without her support and her friendship and advice means more to me than she probably knows.

Anyway I take this stone with me whenever I travel, and I arrived back home in England from a month in Dubai on Sunday afternoon. So started unpacking my bags, placed a bunch of clothes and bits and bobs on my bed including my stone, which I placed in the centre of my bed and left it there until I was ready to put it back on my bedside table where it lives. Finished unpacking and everything was away in cupboards and drawers and my bed was clear, however there was no sign of my stone. I then spent the next hour unpacking everything I had just put away, searching high and low for my stone. But it was no where to be found. After about an hour with no success I started to get quite distressed that I could not find it. I roped my mum in to see if she could find it but she couldn’t. The most frustrating part of it all was that I literally could not remember if I had put it somewhere after I had put it on my bed or even if I had imagined unpacking it and had actually left it in Dubai. After about 2 hours searching I had to face the fact I was not going to find it that night and would search again tomorrow, so I went to bed. Monday morning I woke up and started searching again, after another hour with no luck I was getting seriously worried it was lost forever and messaged my Dad to ask if he could check my room in Dubai to see if I had left it there. About 10 minutes after messaging him I had another look in my wardrobe in the pockets of my jackets, I then randomly looked in the hood of one of them and there my stone was! The relief that flooded me when I found it was so huge I felt like crying.

Other than the fact that the stone is really important to me, one of the most frustrating things about this situation was that I literally could not remember if I had put it somewhere. You see I have a really bad memory, which I put down to one, my headache and being in constant pain for 7 years and two, all the strong medications I was on for years. I personally believe that the combination of these two things has destroyed my memory. I struggle with remembering how to use the washing machine and even the oven. Anything I attempt to learn is gone from my memory almost as soon as I have finished reading it. I have to write copious lists and notes so that information is not lost forever. It’s actually up there with one of the most frustrating things about my condition, and is quite hard to deal with.

However thankfully in this situation with the stone, I actually hadn’t forgotten anything I just thought I had. The stone had obviously fallen into the hood of my jacket when they were both on my bed and I hadn’t realised and ended up putting the jacket away without knowing the stone was in the hood.

It’s nice to be back at home in England, I prefer being here. Am going up to London tomorrow to meet my new psychologist so hopefully that will go okay.

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